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So Over IT! How To Get Over A Crush With Grace

how to get over a crush
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Get Over A Crush Without Crushing Your Spirit

So you want to get over your crush with your dignity intact and with great speed? It’s not as hard as you think.  Often, unrequited love is a source of heartache. You find someone super attractive and a great person to be around, but they are seeing someone else or maybe they just don’t feel the same way about you. You shouldn’t feel bad and rejected, but that is exactly how you feel. How do you get over them and feel better about yourself quickly?

Why Having A Crush Can Lead To Heartbreak

Crushes are not just something you get as an adolescent. You can definitely develop a crush on someone as an adult. However, you might still feel like a teenager when you are rejected by your crush.

Having a crush on someone is not bad. However, when you realize that you cannot act on your feelings for that person that can lead to heartbreak, depending on how deep your feelings for this person are.

How Do You Get Over A Crush Quickly?

Well, the very first thing you must do is begin to humanize them. Often when we are enamored with someone, we often overlook their flaws. See your crush as just an ordinary person and not some superhero.  They are no better than you are. They are just someone that you developed feelings for and that means that you can undo those very feelings.

Let Go Of The Fantasy

Often when you experience having a crush, it’s not about the person you like, but it’s about what that person represents to you. The feelings they generate in you are linked to wanting to be in love or be loved. Or they could have similar qualities to someone you were once in a relationship with before.  If you remove the fantasy of being in love from your crush, you will begin to realize that your crush is just an ordinary person and nothing more.

Remove Your Crush Entirely From Your Experience

How can you get over a crush if you are constantly reminded of your feelings for the other person? Try to avoid seeing your crush at all cost. If it’s someone you are used to seeing at the bookstore or coffee shop regularly, go to another store or try going at a different time. Change the route that you bump into them.  Sit in another section if you have class with that person. If you have contact with them, cut all ties with them immediately. The faster you do this, the sooner you will get over them.

Hang Out With Your Friends, But Don’t Talk About Your Crush

Being with your friends is a great distraction for getting over a crush. They know how to lift your spirits and keep your mind off of your unrequited crush. They also know how to give you a confidence boost that you might be in need of right now. Just know that your friends love you and you are a wonderful person to be around, even if the one you like doesn’t feel the same about you.

Get Out And Meet New People

Meeting new people is a great way to forget about your crush. When you meet new people and expand your social circle, you are bound to find someone else to have a crush on, who might just feel the same way about you. Find new people who share common interest in you. You never know when or where you might meet your next boyfriend or girlfriend.

Work On Improving Yourself

One of the best ways to get over a crush on someone is to get a crush on yourself! When you turn your focus on yourself, you automatically stop thinking about your crush. Focus on being the best you that you can be. If you can’t find the motivation to improve yourself right now, Fake It ‘Til You Make It! This may allow others to see you in a different light than before and lead to a new romantic interest or two.

Final Thoughts

You Can Get Over A Crush With Your Dignity Intact!

In the end, you can get over your crush with grace very quickly if you remember that you are an awesome person no matter what your crush might think of you. Remember, there are other fish in the sea and there’s a vast ocean out there Baby, so dive in!

~Here’s to your healing!

get over a crush


Nina Appleby is the author of Heal Heartbreak Now!, which is a 5 step program that allows you to move past the pain of heartbreak, find endless happiness within yourself, and experience Real Love .

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{ 9 comments… add one }
  • Rechie June 5, 2011, 4:07 pm

    Thank you very much mam..for your very wonderful article…it helps me a lot..in present situation now…of having a crush..Godbless Mam

  • mike July 29, 2011, 1:35 am

    This article is very well put together. Often I find myself putting girls i fancy onto these pedestals. I feel that they are better than me, and if they acknowledge me, it’s by a complete accident. You have to remove the pedestal, and go out there, get to know the person!!

  • chino August 14, 2011, 5:00 am

    Hello maam, I am 39 years old and has a bad crush on a 24 year old woman. I am still married, however i have been separated from my wife for the last 6 months. The crush is so bad I cant take the pain anymore that I have to google something about crushes. Your article has ease the pain. However my crush is a single mom and beatiful, strong and confident. It does not remind me of any women I had a relationship with. Should I pursue it!! But after reading your article I know it is just a crush even if she is not ready for me. Thank you so very much for putting such an amazing article, I thought for a minute that I was mentally ill.

  • Lovestruck! October 7, 2011, 12:16 pm

    Thanks so much for this article. I think mine is the worst crush but calling it a crush is such an understatement. I call it the ‘strong feeling’ syndrome and it feels this way due to a number of reasons. The problem is that everyone, including my closest friends, think I’m fine but I’m in the worst fix and it’s the worst I’ve felt in my life. I don’t want to tell anyone for fear of being judged and being not happy with my life. Anyway, I have to tell at least much of the story or you wouldn’t understand. A little over a year ago, I met someone, a work contact, who wasn’t much to look at, even though he didn’t smoke, he drank and took some Valium, played poker and is very messy! he is not that older than me but looks older and very stressed because of his job. He lives life to the fullest but is clumsy and this makes him quite a character. I don’t know how this ‘thing’ started but after having a couple of conversations initially, he was so fresh and optimistic, I started seeing him in another light even though I quickly put him in a stereotype. He travels around the world for work and I thought he was one of those jet-setter people who didn’t have ethics, slept with the women he worked and had a party lifestyle but he didn’t know how to dance, didn’t find the other girls attractive and too young and had an amazing way with words. The most attractive quality to me was that he inspires young people and is a great motivator. My job is the same for I work for a youth organisation aimed at inspiring people and help youth deal with issues. So it was very natural that we started a great friendship. But the problem was, even though I was in a very loving relationship, I couldn’t stop thinking about Mr.Inspiration. And even though he had a (very pretty lawyer) girlfriend, I think we were both allured with the prospect of forbidden fruit which led to many intense, poetic and crazy emails and texts. It was like we were living in two different worlds and using our world as a form of escapism. It was fine, I just treated it like an escape from the real world until things started happening at a rate we couldn’t control. He flew down for work to my country but I was on a long overdue holiday trip which happened earlier this year so we didn’t meet. Four months later, I got my boyfriend to change travel plans to that I could go to Mr.Inspiration’s home country. It was not to meet him but to discover where he came from….to get to know his place…I know it sounds like crap. But Mr. Inspiration was at a work trip and didn’t come back until after I left. By this point, there were no intense emails, just friendly work emails and just random stuff about when we’d see each other.
    Anyway, we finally met two months ago in the exact same place we had our first intense conversation that got the ball rolling. It was very very difficult, we both wanted each other so bad, we nearly slept with each other. We kissed and that was the most passionate kiss I had even though I was very nervous about it. It was me who pulled the plug on anything worse from happening because I was getting close to being serious with my boyfriend and felt very guilty so thank God we ultimately didn’t sleep with each other. That was the best decision because exactly a week after this fiasco with Mr.Inspiration, my boyfriend asked me to marry him! By now, you must be thinking I’ve put all of Mr.Inspiration behind me but no! It’s actually become worse. By saying yes to my fiance, I automatically feel as though I’m on the verge of losing my freedom. But I can’t seem to stop thinking about Mr.Inspiration either. Sometimes I wish we did sleep and get it off our system but that wouldn’t have helped either. He feels guilty and after he went back home, he firmly told me that we wouldn’t text unless if it was for work, after I told him that I’ve been having difficulty controlling my feelings. The problem I think, which I told Mr.Inspiration, is compared to him, my boyfriend is perfect…I mean much better in character than Mr.Inspiration. But the thing is, I always keep thinking that Mr.Inspiration needs a good girl to help him settle down and tug his leash. Certainly for him to have a escapism world with me, his girlfriend must be not giving him what he needs but then again, he is passionate about his job, was promoted and doing so well, he’s used to it….and I’m sure he wouldn’t change that for anyone. The issue is that even though people around me see me as a strong girl, helping young people, engaged to the perfect guy with a great job and me doing the work I do, it’s like a fairytale romance that it was bound to happen. The problem is that I wish people would stop looking at me like that. This is why I’m strongly attracted to a guy with massive flaws and the ‘it’s-not-going-to-work’ thing. I know I’ll be very disappointed if I broke off the engagement with my fiance but Mr.Inspiration wouldn’t be running to me with arms wide open either. It’s just that, so much has happened to me and I think it should be some sort of love but it’s not worth it. Your article helps alot in determining that a crush is only a feeling. As humans it is natural to have feelings but I think we have to channel them into good things. I’ve written poetry like I have never before after understanding how people, especially young people feel about rejection, crushes going wrong and heartbreak pain. I have had a few crushes but nothing felt like this. I was never the one to have a crush so I guess it hit me hard and fast this time…as an adult. I love my fiance and will get married to him, and have lovely children. But Mr.Inspiration will be someone I will never be able to erase from my mind. It is important to have dignity and self-respect but also it is good to feel these feelings because we are human after all. We are programmed and coded in this way. I just hope people who have crushes realise that it’s not worth all the pain but it’s alright to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all! If you have any advice for me regarding getting over Mr.Inspiration then please do not hesitate. Thank you!

  • man October 22, 2011, 7:08 pm

    Hey, how old is the owner of this blog? Anyway, I know how you feel. I have a crush on someone who’s happily married with children. I use to have a huge crush on them as an adolescent, which tempered off during high school. However, I’d still think about this person and always wonder what they were doing even through College. So I graduate College and all of the sudden this person is on my mind hard. So I look them up, thinking they’re single and find out they’re in a relationship and have children. Now I can’t get them off my mind and every time I think about it, I become sad. I think it’s because they represent things in my early youth ( I’m still young) that I never accomplished. Now that I’m becoming older I realized that I missed out on a whole lot growing up and now it’s too late. That person also represents a lot of things I always said I going to accomplish that I never did. You know those pipe dreams and goals you form as a kid?

  • Sam January 15, 2012, 1:14 pm

    I’m a married man I have a crush on nice lady working with me. She is married too. I never acted on my feelings. Wanted kill it from the root. But its so hard. The feeling is so strong. This article helped me a lot to move on! Thanks a lot.

  • Josie January 27, 2012, 11:07 pm

    Imma 13 year old loser and have the biggest crush on the hottest guy ever. FML

  • Miker Tunzay November 9, 2013, 11:18 am

    Ma’am you helped me a lot to overcome on my crush on someone.
    Thanks a lot.

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