photo credit: lisa_at_home2002
How do you begin to remove the raw feelings of heartbreak? Heartbreak traps you in a prison and keeps you there. In order to break down the walls of that prison, you must do something that is very difficult, however very freeing. You must FORGIVE YOUR EX!
Forgiveness gives you peace of mind because you are no longer tied down by the anger and pain of heartbreak. You are able to finally move on with your life and become a wiser, mature person. Forgiveness is a major healer of heartbreak.
Why Should You Forgive Your Ex?
It is very important to forgive your ex, but why should you do so? Well, forgiveness allows you to have freedom. Forgiveness gives you choices again. When you’ve had your heart broken, it seems that all of your choices have been taken away from you. The only choice you seem to have is to hurt. Forgiveness allows you to see that you do have other options. You become free from the bondage that heartbreak has put on your life by choosing to do so. Forgiveness offers that to you.
You can move from the pain of heartbreak to the freedom of forgiveness if you so desire. It is up to you to decide when it is time for you to forgive you ex for smashing your heart into pieces.
Forgive Yourself First
You cannot truly forgive someone else until you know how to and understand why you need to forgive yourself. We tend to be so hard on ourselves about every little thing. When a relationship ends, we tend to have regrets about things that we should have done or said to make our relationship work. We beat ourselves up and that makes healing our heartbreak even harder.
In order to forgive your ex, you must begin to forgive yourself. It takes courage to begin forgiving yourself. Forgive yourself for all the things that you feel that you did wrong in your relationship. Forgive yourself for being hard on yourself. Forgiving yourself is also one of the first steps to loving yourself.
Forgive in Bite-Sized Pieces
photo credit: Horia Varlan
Once you have forgiven yourself, start to focus on forgiving the small things that your ex did to you. You don’t have to forgive them for everything all at once. Start by forgiving where you can. Build up to forgiving the major transgressions over time.
Forgiveness makes you a stronger person. And let’s face it, you need to be strong in order to survive a terrible break up.
Lessons Learned From The Pain
Find the lesson in the pain. The pain sometimes hurt so bad that it clouds its true purpose and that is to teach you. You learn from the pain. Maybe your lesson was to learn how to love yourself first before loving someone else. Once you get the lesson, the pain seems to go away. Forgiveness is a way to grow as a person
Forgiveness Is For You
Forgiveness is for you and not the other person. You need to forgive them in order to move on and live a better life. Holding onto the pain only holds you back. Forgiving your ex has nothing to do with allowing them to continue to hurt you. Remember this about healing YOUR broken heart and not theirs!
When you forgive your ex, you are not telling them that what they did to you was okay, but you are saying that you choose not to let it affect your life any longer. They don’t have a hold on you anymore and you become free.
Forgiveness Takes Time
Forgiveness is not something that happens over night. You have to work on forgiving yourself and your ex. They did hurt you; however you can break free from the pain by forgiving. Forgiveness is empowering because it allows us to take responsibility for how we feel. This is one of the most powerful things you can do to heal your heartbreak.
~Here’s to your healing!
About Nina ApplebyNina Appleby is the author of Heal Heartbreak Now!, which is a 5 step program that allows you to move past the pain of heartbreak, find endless happiness within yourself, and experience Real Love .
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Bonjour! My name is Nina Appleby.
Not that long ago, I was in the same position as you, suffering from the pain of a horrible breakup. My broken heart snatched away my power and freedom. But, there is a happy ending. You see, I found my personal strength and crafted a 5 step program that allowed me to move past my 
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I’ve been through those most ridiculous heartbreak…for those that are concered whether it ever gets better. It does! And quickly if you can honestly forgive. I was with him for 8 years…the most ridiculous 8 years you could ever imagine. Constant stress because of money, banruptcy and ultimately, the death of our daughter. His cheating on me after the fact. It took me 7 days and I ended up forgiving him and never felt better. He wronged me, yes. We went through difficult times, yes. But the power of forgiveness can heal you. Not forgiveness to be with him. Pure forgiveness and moving on. It can be done. You just have to want to forgive. And realize where you may have done wrong as well.
As a Professional Counselor, I agree. To get over a broken heart is to know and allow that it’s a process!