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I Broke The No Contact Rule
Creative Commons License photo credit: shannon abigail simbulan.

 

“Nina, I Broke The No Contact Rule and I feel like a fool!”

My Friend called me up the other day.  I was able to talk her off of the ledge. I knew exactly how she felt and I knew she would need some insight and comforting because she was beating herself up badly.  But not that long ago, I was in the same position she’s in and I bet you’re there right now too. Don’t worry. You are not alone and I will share with you what I did when I broke the No Contact Rule.

I Broke The No Contact Rule Too! So What! (Please Don’t Judge Me!)

I’ve always prided myself for having strong will power. If I was on a diet, I was always able to say no to that chocolate cake after dinner. I mean, you are talking to the will power queen. But I found myself reaching for the phone and texting my ex every hour on the hour just to say “Hi” after we broke up. I could not control myself. I knew about the No Contact Rule. I knew I wasn’t supposed to call him, but I felt compelled to do so. I mean, I was used to calling the man first thing in the morning!

What I had to realize was that I was going to fail the No Contact Rule if every time I sent him a text I beat myself up. When you make a big deal about something small, it tends to take control of your life. I mean, whatever you resist will persist.

 

What I Did When I Broke The No Contact Rule For The 27th Time (No, Seriously, 27 times!)

 

The first thing I did was accept the fact that applying this rule was going to be hard. I also had to accept that just because I gave in at a moment of weakness did not make me a weak person. I was and still am a strong person. And so are you. I learned to gradually phase in the No Contact Rule.  I couldn’t go cold turkey and quit my habit of calling and texting him, but I could limit the amount of times I did it in one day. That allowed me to build my tolerance to just a few times a week. Then, one day I sent out my final text message and I was done for good.

 

 

Final Thoughts

 

I broke the No Contact Rule when I first applied it too and I was still able to get over my ex. Don’t beat yourself up if you break it. Be gentle with yourself. It takes time getting used to not hearing from someone you normally talk to a million times a day.  Figure out what works best for you and apply it. Gradually, you will become more and more independent from contacting your ex and one day you will wake up without feeling the need to call them ever again. I know because I’ve been there and I believe that you can get there too. I broke the no contact rule and I’m not ashamed to say I did!

~Here’s To Your Healing!

About

Nina Appleby is the author of Heal Heartbreak Now!, which is a 5 step program that allows you to move past the pain of heartbreak, find endless happiness within yourself, and experience Real Love .

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Getting Rid of Ex's Stuff from Heal Heartbreak Now!
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Getting rid of your ex’s stuff can be difficult for you because it signifies the end of your relationship. After a break up, it is important that you get rid of all things that remind you of your ex. These little reminders can keep you trapped in the clutches of heartbreak.  You want to do this as soon and as quickly as you possibly can after your break up. The faster you can remove your ex from you external surroundings, the better.

What To Give Back

Give back all their sentimental items. Yes, you might feel the urge to throw them in a huge backyard bonfire. However, would you like it if they took your favorite childhood teddy bear and backed over it with a tractor trailer? No, you wouldn’t! So be nice and send them back all of the items that mean the most to them.

This includes: collectible items, childhood toys, baby pictures and pictures of family members, and items they might need for work or school.

You can make arrangements with your ex to trade stuff, if you feel that you are able to handle the contact. If you can’t bear seeing them right now, send them a quick email or text explaining that you will be shipping their items and for them to do the same. Be as mature about this as you possibly can.

What To Trash

Throw out the toiletries that they left at your place when they used to spend the night. Trash the toothbrush, razor, hair goop and all the stuff that they can easily replace with a trip to Wal-Mart or the drugstore. This stuff just reminds you that you will now be spending your nights alone.

Just don’t go overboard. Do throw away your dishes because she used to cook for you and you ate a lot of romantic dinners on them. Throw away their stuff and not your own, unless you don’t mind buying brand new house wares.

What To Keep

You can keep the photos and love letters that they wrote you for now. Just don’t keep them out in the open. You can gently place them in a keepsake box if you wish and put it all the way in the recesses of your closet. Keep things that generate good feelings about your ex and your relationship. You know the reminders of the good times you had with your ex. One day, when you are completely over your ex, you may decide that you want to get rid of these things. But for now, knowing that you can cherish these keepsakes when you absolutely need to may comfort you.

Final Thoughts

Keeping Baggage from Your Past Relationship | From Heal Heartbreak Now!

Photo by Dương Trần Quốc on Unsplash

Getting rid of your ex’s belongings doesn’t have to be a big “to-do”. Once you are finished purging your ex’s stuff, you can begin to let go of your ex emotionally. Take it one step at a time. Start by packing up what you want to give back and go from there. You can do it!

 

~Here’s to your healing!

About

Nina Appleby is the author of Heal Heartbreak Now!, which is a 5 step program that allows you to move past the pain of heartbreak, find endless happiness within yourself, and experience Real Love .

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Confidence After Heartbreak
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After your heart has been broken, you will experience a decline in your self-esteem or a completely demolished sense of confidence.  You need a confidence makeover fast! There are some easy things that you can do to boost your confidence without breaking a sweat.

Having confidence is an important trait in healing your heartbreak. With confidence, courage, and faith, you can overcome any obstacle that is in your way.

Simply Smile and Laugh Often

This is absolutely the best place to start with rebuilding your confidence after heartbreak! Smiling and laughing are free and the simplest thing you can do to not only change your life, but become more confident. There is nothing sexier than a confident smile. A smile can easily lift your spirits and is scientifically proven to relieve stress by allowing your brain to produce endorphins. Laughter is the best medicine for low self-esteem and best of all, it’s free.  Smiling and laughing can boost your confidence by making you feel good.  And when you feel good, you do well.

Change One Bad Habit

Stop smoking. Stop biting your nails. Stop fidgeting. Confident people know there are positive ways to channel negative energy. When you are nervous or feeling anxious, take a few deep breaths. Take a walk. Do something that is positively constructive whenever you are nervous and you will seem completely confident no matter the situation.

Correct Your Posture

Stand tall when you walk and don’t slouch. Confidence is an energy that you exude and standing tall projects to other people that you feel good about yourself. Keep your head held high. Not only does it make other people notice you, but studies show that looking up can immediately improve your mood. Confident people seem to naturally be a good mood and this may be why.

Be Proactive

Take charge of one area of your life that you feel you’ve been lacking in and change it to your liking. Do one small thing every day that will improve that area of your life. Slowly, you will build a life that is full of love and success.

Celebrate Your Small Victories

Small victories and successes are important in confidence building. Each time you complete a small goal or a task that is a part of a major goal, you build up your confidence and this leads to bigger successes that make your confidence skyrocket

Change One Thing About Your Look

Give yourself a mini-make over. You don’t have to go all out to make a big statement. You can change the way you wear your hair. You can try a new perfume or cologne. You can change your look by buying a few new pieces to incorporate into your wardrobe. You don’t have to change everything about your look, but a few updates can garner many compliments that will make you feel wonderful.

Exercise

Working out allows you to change your body and change the way you feel about yourself. Studies have proven that exercise increases the release of endorphins in your brain, makes your body look and make you feel better.  Just a 20 minute brisk walk will do wonders for your body and your brain.

What Other People Think Of You Is None Of Your Business

Most people will spend their entire lives seeking the approval of others, especially from someone they love. Don’t spend another minute caring about the opinions of others when it comes to you, especially your ex’s opinion. It’s none of your business what they think of you. Your only business is to know what you think of yourself and make your that you give yourself approval all the time. You are awe-inspiring as you are, flaws and all. Own it and know it. That is the ultimate secret to becoming a super confident person.

Final Thoughts

When all else fails, focus on just one thing about yourself that you really love. You are an awesome being that should be celebrated. Your ex may have broken your heart, but you can rebuild your life to something even more magnificent than before.  With confidence and self-love, you can overcome your heartache and live a wonderful life.

~Here’s to your healing!

About

Nina Appleby is the author of Heal Heartbreak Now!, which is a 5 step program that allows you to move past the pain of heartbreak, find endless happiness within yourself, and experience Real Love .

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Mending A Broken Heart with Exercise: How to Look and Feel Lovely After Heartbreak

 

Heartbreak is an emotional problem, so how will exercise help you? Most people do not recognize the mind-body connection. Our minds and bodies are connected in the way we respond to stress and emotional pain. Any stress you feel in your mind, you also will feel in your body. Any stress you feel in your body, you will definitely feel in your mind. No doubt about it.

Exercise is one of the simplest ways to help in mending a broken heart. Exercise allows you to release all of that tension in your body and pumps your brain with endorphins. Besides that, exercise also allows you to shed any unwanted pounds and helps with your physical appearance. This allows you to boost your confidence and makes you feel good about yourself.

What Exercise Can Do For Your Heartbreak

You’re hurting emotionally and most likely don’t want to leave your bedroom. What can exercise really do to relieve the pain you feel right now?

How Exercise Helps Mend Your Broken Heart:

  • Exercise helps you fight depression
  • Exercise gives you energy
  • Exercise helps your brain produce those “feel-good” hormones
  • Exercise allows you to be more social
  • Exercise boosts your confidence
  • Exercise allows your brain to deal with stress better

These benefits of exercise are good for your overall health and emotional well-being. The best benefit of exercise is that it makes you look better.  When you look better, you feel better. When you feel better, you do better.  Exercise is one of the fastest ways to improve your looks, overall health and spirit. Your clothes will fit better.  Your confidence will skyrocket. People in your inner circle will start to notice the improvement in your body and compliment you.  Your heartbreak will seem insignificant and you will begin to move on.

Mending A Broken Heart with Exercise: How to Look and Feel Lovely After Heartbreak

My Experience with Exercise After A Broken Heart

After my break up, exercising was the last thing on my mind. I really wanted to stay in bed as much as I possibly could.  Eventually, I started to get back into my routine and workout regularly again. I also started eating better, not really over doing it, but just watching what I ate and taking better care of myself. Before I knew it, I had lost about 20 lbs in a little less than 2 months.

I will never forget when I first saw my ex some months after our break up. The expression on his face said it all. He was shocked to see how good I looked. 20 lbs is a lot of weight to lose and makes a great difference in your appearance. I felt so powerful and confident knowing that I had improved myself and made my ex-boyfriend feel like a fool for dumping me. I also felt great when all of a sudden men were approaching me left and right. My confidence shined through and that really helped me move on after my break up.

Final Thoughts

Mending a broken heart can be taxing on your body. Exercise is one of the best ways to fight that stress and release all of those unwanted emotions that have been building up since your break up.

You don’t have to start off with strenuous exercise. You can start off by taking a walk around the block for 20 minutes. Start with something small and build your way up. No one said that you had to mend your broken heart in one exercise session.

Remember, this about making you feel good as fast as possible. Trust me, just the sheer feeling of getting out and moving around will make a huge difference in the way you feel right now. So, get up and get moving!

~Here’s to your healing!


About

Nina Appleby is the author of Heal Heartbreak Now!, which is a 5 step program that allows you to move past the pain of heartbreak, find endless happiness within yourself, and experience Real Love .

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ive Yourself, Forgive Your Ex

photo: swanksalot

How do you begin to remove the raw feelings of heartbreak?  Heartbreak traps you in a prison and keeps you there. In order to break down the walls of that prison, you must do something that is very difficult, however very freeing. You must FORGIVE YOUR EX!

Forgiveness gives you peace of mind because you are no longer tied down by the anger and pain of heartbreak. You are able to finally move on with your life and become a wiser, mature person. Forgiveness is a major healer of heartbreak.

Why Should You Forgive Your Ex?

It is very important to forgive your ex, but why should you do so? Well, forgiveness allows you to have freedom. Forgiveness gives you choices again. When you’ve had your heart broken, it seems that all of your choices have been taken away from you. The only choice you seem to have is to hurt. Forgiveness allows you to see that you do have other options. You become free from the bondage that heartbreak has put on your life by choosing to do so. Forgiveness offers that to you.

You can move from the pain of heartbreak to the freedom of forgiveness if you so desire. It is up to you to decide when it is time for you to forgive you ex for smashing your heart into pieces.

Forgive Yourself First

Forgive Your Ex
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You cannot truly forgive someone else until you know how to and understand why you need to forgive yourself. We tend to be so hard on ourselves about every little thing.  When a relationship ends, we tend to have regrets about things that we should have done or said to make our relationship work. We beat ourselves up and that makes healing our heartbreak even harder.

In order to forgive your ex, you must begin to forgive yourself. It takes courage to begin forgiving yourself. Forgive yourself for all the things that you feel that you did wrong in your relationship.  Forgive yourself for being hard on yourself.  Forgiving yourself is also one of the first steps to loving yourself.

Forgive in Bite-Sized Pieces

Forgive Your Ex
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Once you have forgiven yourself, start to focus on forgiving the small things that your ex did to you. You don’t have to forgive them for everything all at once. Start by forgiving where you can. Build up to forgiving the major transgressions over time.

Forgiveness makes you a stronger person. And let’s face it, you need to be strong in order to survive a terrible break up.

Lessons Learned From The Pain

Forgive Your Ex
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Find the lesson in the pain. The pain sometimes hurt so bad that it clouds its true purpose and that is to teach you. You learn from the pain. Maybe your lesson was to learn how to love yourself first before loving someone else. Once you get the lesson, the pain seems to go away.  Forgiveness is a way to grow as a person

Forgiveness Is For You

Forgive Your Ex
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Forgiveness is for you and not the other person.  You need to forgive them in order to move on and live a better life.  Holding onto the pain only holds you back. Forgiving your ex has nothing to do with allowing them to continue to hurt you. Remember this about healing YOUR broken heart and not theirs!

When you forgive your ex, you are not telling them that what they did to you was okay, but you are saying that you choose not to let it affect your life any longer. They don’t have a hold on you anymore and you become free.

Forgiveness Takes Time

Forgive Your Ex
Creative Commons License photo credit: * Polly *

Forgiveness is not something that happens over night. You have to work on forgiving yourself and your ex. They did hurt you; however you can break free from the pain by forgiving. Forgiveness is empowering because it allows us to take responsibility for how we feel. This is one of the most powerful things you can do to heal your heartbreak.

~Here’s to your healing!

About

Nina Appleby is the author of Heal Heartbreak Now!, which is a 5 step program that allows you to move past the pain of heartbreak, find endless happiness within yourself, and experience Real Love .

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