≡ Menu

I Broke The No Contact Rule! Now What?

I Broke The No Contact Rule
Creative Commons License photo credit: shannon abigail simbulan.


“Nina, I Broke The No Contact Rule and I feel like a fool!”

My Friend called me up the other day.  I was able to talk her off of the ledge. I knew exactly how she felt and I knew she would need some insight and comforting because she was beating herself up badly.  But not that long ago, I was in the same position she’s in and I bet you’re there right now too. Don’t worry. You are not alone and I will share with you what I did when I broke the No Contact Rule.

I Broke The No Contact Rule Too! So What! (Please Don’t Judge Me!)

I’ve always prided myself for having strong will power. If I was on a diet, I was always able to say no to that chocolate cake after dinner. I mean, you are talking to the will power queen. But I found myself reaching for the phone and texting my ex every hour on the hour just to say “Hi” after we broke up. I could not control myself. I knew about the No Contact Rule. I knew I wasn’t supposed to call him, but I felt compelled to do so. I mean, I was used to calling the man first thing in the morning!

What I had to realize was that I was going to fail the No Contact Rule if every time I sent him a text I beat myself up. When you make a big deal about something small, it tends to take control of your life. I mean, whatever you resist will persist.


What I Did When I Broke The No Contact Rule For The 27th Time (No, Seriously, 27 times!)


The first thing I did was accept the fact that applying this rule was going to be hard. I also had to accept that just because I gave in at a moment of weakness did not make me a weak person. I was and still am a strong person. And so are you. I learned to gradually phase in the No Contact Rule.  I couldn’t go cold turkey and quit my habit of calling and texting him, but I could limit the amount of times I did it in one day. That allowed me to build my tolerance to just a few times a week. Then, one day I sent out my final text message and I was done for good.



Final Thoughts


I broke the No Contact Rule when I first applied it too and I was still able to get over my ex. Don’t beat yourself up if you break it. Be gentle with yourself. It takes time getting used to not hearing from someone you normally talk to a million times a day.  Figure out what works best for you and apply it. Gradually, you will become more and more independent from contacting your ex and one day you will wake up without feeling the need to call them ever again. I know because I’ve been there and I believe that you can get there too. I broke the no contact rule and I’m not ashamed to say I did!

~Here’s To Your Healing!


Nina Appleby is the author of Heal Heartbreak Now!, which is a 5 step program that allows you to move past the pain of heartbreak, find endless happiness within yourself, and experience Real Love .

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 4.8/5 (5 votes cast)
I Broke The No Contact Rule! Now What?, 4.8 out of 5 based on 5 ratings
  • i broke the no contact rule
  • no contact rule how long
  • i broke the no contact rule now what
  • broke no contact rule
  • i broke no contact rule
  • broke no contact
  • i broke no contact
  • broke the no contact rule
  • breaking no contact rule
  • broke no contact now what
  • breaking no contact
  • what if i broke the no contact rule
  • when to break no contact
  • how to break no contact rule
  • broke the no contact rule ex at the start
  • no contact what happens
  • when is no contact rule used
  • i broke no contact rule what shall I do
  • i broke the no contact phase

Exposed! Learn How To Get Your Power Back From Your Ex ASAP!

The Power ShiftLet's Cut The Crap! You're miserable because your ex has all the power right now. Don't waste your time anymore! Let's turn the tables and get your power back without breaking a sweat.

Click the button below to DOWNLOAD The Power Shift For FREE! 

{ 2 comments… add one }
  • Eric October 6, 2011, 12:48 pm

    I have had a VERY hard time getting over my ex. She broke up with me, then went to date someone to get over me, kept me in the “friend zone”, got back together with me when I told her that I couldn’t be Just a FRIEND, then 3 months later, she breaks up AGAIN and immediately goes back to the guy she was seeing. This is soooo painful. The break up happened via eMail and also mentioned that she was going to completely disengage from me. I replied with an “ok, it hurts, but I accept it” email, waited a month and a half and tried emailing her to see if she would want to get together and talk, which was BAD IDEA#1. Then, when she shot that one down, telling me to reread her initial email, I wrote back trying to own my part in the relationship failure, which was probably bad idea#2. I am in pain wondering how scathing her reply will be; or, worse yet,if she don’t reply at all. I hate this no contact crap. We argued a lot, and much of it was about me raising the intensity level to a point that freaked her out. I want this relationship back. I screwed up and want to make right my wrongs.

  • Sophia Enos November 25, 2014, 8:59 pm

    I broke the no contact rule after 8 days. shit. havent seen him in over a month. I was drunk and mean two times after dating three months. he said he didnt love me after that and he was sick to his stomach. he wanted to run outside and scream everytime i contacted him. he told me bluntly in a text he needed time to think.

    gosh, i did beat myself up after texting him four times. telling him i loved him, called him sweet p and wished him a; happy thanksgiving. wow. i feel so stupid. kick my self. anyway, now i have a fever and sick to my stomach. i was doing so good and then, texted him after a few glasses of wine. shit. help.

Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge

Show Buttons
Hide Buttons