How to Break Your Emotional Dependency on Your Ex

by Nina J Appleby

Break Your Emotional Dependency on Your Ex
photo credit: EmilyGrace Photography

Do you feel a strong emotional “attachment” to your ex, but you don’t understand why? Are you finding that you are having difficulty letting go of your relationship because your ex provided you with stability and comfort? After the dust has settled, you now begin to see things in a new perspective that your love for your ex blinded you from. So how do you break your emotional dependency on your ex?

Well, first, you must understand why you are dependent on your ex in the first place.  Often, you became dependent on your ex to fill a void in your life that was most likely created during childhood.  You allowed other people to define your self worth.  When you met your former lover, they probably made you actually begin to feel worthy of receiving love. Probably for the first time in your life, you started to feel like you were valuable and appreciated.

Often, we become dependent on our lover based on the emotional needs that they fulfill. We rely on our partners to provide us with those “feel-good” feelings. Slowly, over time, we make them totally responsible for giving us that feeling all of the time. When they give us the attention that we crave, they provide us with feelings of love and approval.  They make us fell worthy and safe. However, when the relationship sours, the attention stops and our self worth starts to diminish.   It was unfair of us to make them responsible for how we felt every moment of everyday. This is why most relationships end in a “lose-lose” situation.

But there is hope. You can break your emotional dependency on your ex. You must first want to do so. You have to realize that this attachment is harmful to healing your heartbreak as well as your whole wellbeing.

Here are three major actions that you can start to take today to break your emotional dependency on your ex:

  • Learn how to be responsible for your own emotions. You are the only one who has control over how you feel at any particular moment. No one can make you happy or sad. You decide how their actions affect you.  You must become responsible for how you react to others emotionally.  Take control of your entire emotional system now or you will continue to be a slave to it for the rest of your life.
  1. Learn what your emotional needs are and learn how to give yourself what you expected your ex to give you instead. If you expected your ex to give you love and attention, give love and attention to yourself. You will find that you are more fulfilled when you provide yourself with the things that you think you are lacking.
  2. Define your own self worth and don’t let other people dictate what your worth is no matter how much you love them. You are the only one who knows really how valuable you are.  Start to appreciate all of the good qualities that you possess and let no one determine or undermine your self worth. Period! When you let other people define who you are and what you are worth, you give away your power and allow them to walk all over you. You are not a doormat, so stop acting like one.


I hope these tidbits help you understand your emotional dependency on your ex and how you need to break this powerful bond that weakens your inner strength now so that you can begin to heal your heartbreak.  You don’t need to take on each action all at once. Do what you can each day and eventually you will cut through that rope that ties you to your ex emotionally like a chainsaw.

~Here’s to your healing!


Nina Appleby is the author of Heal Heartbreak Now!, which is a 5 step program that allows you to move past the pain of heartbreak, find endless happiness within yourself, and experience Real Love .

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 4.2/5 (20 votes cast)
How to Break Your Emotional Dependency on Your Ex, 4.2 out of 5 based on 20 ratings
  • emotional dependency
  • no contact from ex and i am sad
  • how to stop calling your ex
  • how to break emotional attachment
  • ex husband quotes
  • quotes about being strong and moving on
  • how to break an emotional attachment
  • how to stop missing your ex
  • how to get rid of emotional attachment
  • Poems about letting go of your ex and moving on
  • HOw to get over your wife leaving
  • how to stop contacting an ex
  • became ex-girlfriends slave
  • quotes to make your ex jealous
  • how to be strong after a breakup
  • breaking emotional attachment
  • how to get over a break up when you still love them
  • should i ignore my ex girlfriend
  • emotional attachment to ex
  • how to stop calling your ex boyfriend
  • how to stop loving your ex
  • quotes about heartbreak and being strong
  • why do i still have feelings for my ex boyfriend
  • quotes to make your ex feel bad
  • how to break a bond with someone
  • how to break emotional dependency
  • how to break attachment
  • how to lose emotional attachment
  • how to be strong emotionally after a break up
  • how to get over an emotional attachment
  • my ex has a new boyfriend
  • quotes missing someone after break up
  • emotional heartbreak quotes
  • quotes to make your girlfriend feel bad
  • why am i still sad about my ex
  • emotional attachment quotes
  • how to get over ex wife
  • Emotional dependence
  • quotes about ex girlfriends being jealous
  • meeting my ex since breakup
  • getting over your first love quotes
  • how to lose attachment
  • why you should stop contacting your ex
  • break up quotes of not having feelings
  • how long should u give ur ex to heal
  • how to get rid of heartbreak
  • i miss my ex girlfriend quotes
  • leaving boyfriend for me how long do i give her
  • emotional attachment for an ex
  • love sayings to your ex to make them feel like shit
  • when your boyfriend breaks up with you
  • how to make your ex wife jealous
  • what happens emotional after a break up
  • how to get over an ex girlfriend who has a new boyfriend
  • how to make my exs girlfriend jealous
  • taking a break made relationship stronger
  • how long does it take to stop being inlove with someone
  • controlling ex-boyfriend help
  • how to deal with guilt after a break up
  • my exwife is happy i have a girlfriend
  • how to stop calling your boyfriend
  • i break up with my boyfriend but i feel so bad & sad because i still love him
  • i miss my ex girlfriend
  • sayings to your ex girlfriend
  • my ex boyfriend has moved on
  • quotes about being strong to tell your ex
  • happy quotes to make someone jealous
  • why does my ex still contact me
  • how to get over emotional heartbreak
  • humiliated myself during break up
  • getting over your ex wife
  • deal with break ups he left me
  • still in love with abusive ex boyfriend
  • how to not be emotional around an ex
  • how to overcome your ex no contact
  • I am depressed after a broke up with my boyfriend
  • how to let a harmful ex go
  • how to keep from contacting an ex boyfriend
  • how long does it take for attachment to heal
  • My ex-boyfriend still ignores me after a year of being dumped
  • my ex treated me badly
  • feel responsible for ex girlfriend
  • how to get an ex to understand
  • What to do when u meet your exboyfriend for the first time after brake up
  • grilfirend left me feeling depressed what to do
  • how to deal with angry ex husband
  • when you significant other cant cut off emotionally and keeps contacting ex
  • how to let go of your ex husband
  • should i feel guilty that i am dating someone but still have feelings for my ex
  • sayings about ex girlfriends
  • what I can do today to heal from husbands emotional abuse
  • how to prevent your feelings getting strong for a boy
  • should i wish my ex happy new year
  • why is my husband being so mean over his new girlfriend
  • how do i stop being sad when my ex bf leaves
  • how do you break away from a dependant emotionally abusive relationship
  • how do you feel when you first split from partner
  • how to break away emotionally from dangerous love
  • my gf broke up with me after moving
  • how to break free from a exwife who is depending on me
  • feeling free after heart break quotes
  • quotes to make someone feel guilty for his acts
  • how can i heal after an abusive spouse
  • emotional notes for ex-girlfriend
  • can a relationship survive emotional dependance
  • my exwife has a boyfriend and I am having trouble dealing with it
  • What I should do if boyfriend is being mean
  • break up i feel bad
  • bf and gf phrases
  • attachment heartbreak
  • Why Does My Ex Girlfriend Keep Calling
  • how to cut ties with someone you still love?
  • missing your ex gf
  • how to gain strength from your ex
  • how to let go of my attachment to husband
  • how to know if ex is guilty after break up
  • love my ex keeps contacting me
  • how to play with boyfriends emotions
  • how to get rid of someone and feel free
  • how to stop being sad about my marriage?
  • how to get rid of my boyfriends ex wife
  • girlfriend loving all mans
  • how to stop relying on men for emotional needs
  • i am now feeling guilty after dumping boyfriend
  • ex girlfriend is going to be back soon but still ignoring me
  • how to be strong during a break
  • how can you cure emmotional attachment
  • how to control your emotions towards your girlfriend
  • my ex girlfriend treated me bad and now is married
  • how does my ex feel after leaving me
  • i still feel strong connection to someone but broke up
  • why im compelled to tell my exwife the damage she has done to my life
  • my ex husband feels that I am using him emotionally and financially
  • how to keep strong after a breakup
  • what do i do if my boyfriend is still emotionally attached to his ex wife
  • breaking up due to being treated bad
  • breaking attachments to a lost love
  • who should get the cat after a break up
  • telling ex lover shit quotes
  • abusive ex husband has new girlfriend
  • am i still bonded to a previous partner
  • being unhealthily attached to ex
  • being stronger after a break up
  • i feel responsible for my ex wifes well being
  • how to break free from emotional attachment
  • how to het rid of emetional dependency and jealousy
  • i feel responsible for my ex i dumped
  • How get rid of emotional attachment of girlfriend
  • letting go of a controlling ex boyfriend
  • leave bf for ex
  • saw ex bf and he blamed whole breakup on me
  • my exhusband broke me emotionally
  • feel guilty I controlled my ex
  • Shall i smash my ex new boyfriend
  • ex bf ignoring me
  • a situational break up how do i stop being sad
  • split with my ex and feel so angry
  • how to keep strong to ignore ex bf
  • how to cut tge bond with your ex

Exposed! Learn How To Get Your Power Back From Your Ex ASAP!

The Power ShiftLet's Cut The Crap! You're miserable because your ex has all the power right now. Don't waste your time anymore! Let's turn the tables and get your power back without breaking a sweat.

Click the button below to DOWNLOAD The Power Shift For FREE! 

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

ralo October 15, 2011 at 1:38 am

I’m a heartbreak cuz maybe I’m the one who treat bad her I feel resposable for what happen. I feel depresed I whish this never happen I just won’t acept it. I need help.

abp October 24, 2011 at 2:34 pm

So my boyfriend’s son’s mother has an issue with me and always has. At first she tried calling me and talking about the relationship they had together when I would pick up their son. I stopped that of course. She would call all the time which at first was accepted because they need to talk for the son’s sake. When it became a probblem was when she was calling at least ten times a day and it was never about the kid and always about her wanting to fight with him about absolutely nothing. She is the type of woman who uses the child as a pawn. I know that being a single mother is hard but I don’t unerstand why anyone who loves their child wants to break a bond between a man and his son. He loves his 3 yr. old son so much he would even take her two daughters for the weekend as well as his son. She says he is a dead beat dad and that he doesn’t love his son when he tries to pick him up every friday for the entire weekend. We live an hr and a half away from her and his older son’s mother and always are the ones who do the pick up and drop off. It takes 3 and a half hrs. all togetherto pick up the 15yr old and the 3 yr old. It is the same to drop off so 7 hrs every weekend. I know a lot of women who use their children to get back at the childs father but I just wish children would come before hurt feelings. To me it’s selfish. I know a lot of women who would die for their childs father to take them for even one day as well. It just seems in this world noone is
satisfied. I think the best thing for anyone to do is just move on try to be civil and that is being a bigger person. Oh well though people typically don’t care about others just their own feelings. If you really ever loved a person you should love enough to let them go if they aren’t happy with you. Trust me I have done this. It won’t work anyway if you’re hanging on while the other person is looking forward past you.

Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge

Previous post:

Next post: